Some Things You Just Want To Keep To Yourself

Topic du jour: a private life, and for the love of it. I've always been a private person. Not intentionally, it's just who I am. I listen more than I talk. I respond to questions. And, it's just not my nature to share everything that's in my mind, on my heart or what I'm doing. I say this, and I have shared my food for thought stream of consciousness publicly near daily on and off since 2017. I share what I believe will make the biggest difference for you, if whatever it is making a material enough difference for me, and I share that based on what I'm going through at the time (as many people do). We share from our experiences to help others. I also preface this by saying that I have so much respect for those who it is their job to be very public. It takes a level, and there is so much I've learned from others as the result of them openly documenting and sharing their life. There's an art to life in everything. 

In terms of living a public vs a private life, I've never envied those who live hugely public lives. I love a biography or autobiography or biopic, but on the daily, I'm not focused on the details of other people's lives aside from my core people. On those with public personas, not every known person or celebrity has a public life. They may have a public image and some of their activities may be public knowledge, but these people definitely have actual private lives the public knows nothing about. We are avatars, and we have different avatars. There are of course people who share most details of their life, and that's okay. Everyone's different, and sharing at a deep level of intimacy or detail could very well be someone's fuel - similar to how introverts recharge in solace, and how extroverts recharge around others, and then there's ambiverts (a little of both).

While I write and share my perspective and experience, think about yourself and what category you fit into. How I write and what I share is most often intended for you to put yourself in your own shoes and apply what I'm sharing to your own life. I will ask you this question first: when you have a curiosity about someone or their life what is your intention behind the desire to know? Is it out of care, love, genuine interest because you want to learn, or does the desire come from a different place, maliciousness or envy? I would wish to assume that everyone's intentions are pure and they're just not. The purpose I ask you this, is that we as humans, when we live with a purified heart, everything's just easier. 

Back to privacy and letting people have it, even those who are close in your life. A trait that I love about myself is that I am exceptional at asking the right questions when I'm interested or when it's part of my job. I have a genuine curiosity for others whom I want to get to know and who I care about, and of course my clients fall into this category as well. Another quality that I love about myself is that I do not ask others questions that really aren't my business. I hold space for people to share, and - I don't ask questions to which I don't need to know the answer to. Might I be curious sometimes? Yes of course, but honestly not usually. I wish people well but am generally not thinking about them that intently enough to ask questions I don't already know the answer to. Are some of the answers to my curiosities my business? For sure not. And so, I respect the other person by not asking. This is different than asking questions when you know they need to be asked. There is a difference. My food for thought for you, before you ask someone a question (even a friend), "do I need to know this? Is asking this satisfying my need and why do I need to know?"  There's a reel I made regarding words and the weight the carry. I ask "are you dropping hundreds or are you dropping dollar bills?" The same goes for your thoughts, meaning: are your thoughts and words meaningful and do they carry genuine intent from a pure and potent place, or how meaningless (or potentially malicious) is the intent? Best to be conscious of this vs unconscious in your thoughts, actions and behaviours. And no, none of us are perfect. 

Back to privacy, because information is just as much a thing regarding public vs private, as is just sharing the details of life. Something that is sacred, is time with another person. That shared moment, that shared timespace, that shared connection. Some things you just don't want to document, share and repeat. This is the art of letting this just be. Can you let things just be or do you have to blow up a perfect moment into something completely different? My invitation for you is to savor moments that just get to be yours, or whomever you share them with. There's a place these exceptional times live in your heart that you can tap into at any time - and these moment, memories and energy will express in different ways. It's a form of alchemy via the human heart. Conversely, if you are so deeply repressed, meaning you self express in no way, shape and form, consider opening yourself up. Believe me, it is safe to do so! Being who you are out loud allowing others to experience you is medicine for the whole world. 

There are definitely pros to being more public, depending on what your business is. There are also pros to being more public in your personal life, if you are someone who is so deeply private that you are paranoid and don't let people see you. Neither end of the spectrum is right or wrong, these things just are, and I'm giving you food for thought. Some people deeply want to be seen and they are paralyzed for fear of being judged for who they really are. Other people just want to blend in and it's impossible, because of who they are. There's so much more to this than I can possibly share in one post, the point: thinking about who you are and what kind of life you are living and why, as it relates to yourself, other people, what you share and how you connect. It all adds up. Know who you are, what you want and adjust accordingly and ongoing. It's the pulse of life - thought, expression and adjustment. 

If you aren't able to tap into your mind or heart on command (this takes practise), join me in the online studio where we move and meditate (yin yoga, mat pilates and yoga nidra). These practises will have you tap into your heart and mind, and have you alchemizing memories and moments from the inside out, beautifully expressing your energy in the world - which in turn, will attract everything and everyone towards you that is meant for you - because you're not only tapping into more of who you are and what you want, more importantly, you're releasing things and letting things fall away that aren't meant to stick to you. Everything you want is inside of you, and I will show you how to access it.